egberts:

viarga:

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly

thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh

(via spookysparkles)

unsuspecting-vans:

fasterfood:

people are always like “why do u look so emotionless when u walk through the hallways” at school but i dont understand what they expect me to do when i walk to class like am i supposed to smile and skip around tossing flowers to everyone i walk by?? 

(via spookysparkles)

selfdoubtandsyphilis:

dankestrnemes:

do animals think in english or in the sounds they make

this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for

(via spookysparkles)

hotboxtheworld:

It took her 2 hours to get a duck? This girl gets shit done.

(Source: common0courtesy, via jasminejuliette)

coffeeandcheesecake:

trying to ruin marriage again are we

(via omgiloveboyzz)